Joke of the Day: Married & dealing with the Wife

A few married guys are drinking at a bar. They start talking about getting home and they are concerned their wives will be upset about how late they get home.
First married guy says, “I do what I can. I put the car in neutral at the driveway and coast in. I tiptoe inside and sneak into bed. But she still knows.”
Second married guy said, “I idle a half block away, coast all the way home. I take off my shoes before I walk inside. I creep up the stairs and slink into bed but she is still there, waiting and as much as I do and starts yelling.”
Third married guy says,” You’re doing it wrong. I squeal my tires all the way into the driveway. I stomp to the front door, slam it closed, run up the stairs, slap my wife on the ass and yell, “who wants this?” and she is asleep every time. ”
“““““
Married Dating at HappyPersonals.com is where you meet a houswife that wants something on the side.

Joke of the Day: Three wishes

Joke of the Day: Three wishes

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”
The woman said, “That’s okay.”
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned ?her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to”.
The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.”
So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.”
The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”
So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women think they’re really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
Note: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen.

Joke:A girl was with her father when she saw her boyfriend coming

Joke

A girl was with her father when she saw her boyfriend coming

GIRL: Have you come to collect your book titled "DADDY IS AT HOME?" by Ngozi Okafor

BOY: No, I want that your hymns book called "WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?"

GIRL: I don't have that one but may be you should take the other one titled "UNDER THE MANGO TREE" by Chimamanda Adichie

BOY: Fine, but don't forget to bring "I WILL CALL YOU IN 5 MINUTES" while coming to school

GIRL: I will also bring you a new one too titled"I WON'T LET YOU DOWN" by Chinua Achebe

Then;

DAD: Those books are too many, will he read them all

GIRL: Yes dad, he is

very smart &

intelligent

DAD: Okay don't

forget to give him the one on the table titled "I AM NOT STUPID, I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN SAYING" by Shakespeare! And also the one on the dinning table titled "IF YOU GET PREGNANT PREPARE TO GET MARRIED" by Wole Soyinka

joke: *BREAKING

Terrorist has kidnapped our president MUHAMMADU BUHARI and demanded a ransom of $10 billion or they would burn him with kerosene. Please let's help our president... I have already donated 15litres😆_*

Help me tell others..🖖🏿

Airplane jokes

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again. "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."